The novelist and Brooklynite Jonathan Lethem tries to be chill about envying other writers.
Paris Reivew: What about envying other writers?
Jonathan Lethem: Every human life includes moments of rage at unrecognition. We’re all injustice collectors. But that’s not the truth of any situation. I don’t mean to pretend that those bad feelings don’t exist. I know them intimately; they’re daily friends. But once you give them their name and shape, they’re like a set of really lousy cats living in your house. You kick them out of the way to get to where you’re going. . . . Would I want to be the only writer? No. Would I want to be the best? Well, that’s a lie, there’s no best. So there’s nothing to want.
The process of writing (idea having, words putting down, words cutting out, query letter writing, etc) is itself taxing. The existence of other writers, however, is taxing the way a star-filled sky can be if you think about how little you matter to it.
Lethem's questions about being the only or the best writer make him seem chill but we're also not flipping marooons. "There's nothing to want?" C'mon, bro!
It may be realistic to not want to be the only writer (imagine the grammar!). And it may be psychologically pragmatic to not stress about being the best writer. But we don't send out dozens of query letters without wanting something and part of wanting means you've got a smidgen of envy.
I write because I want the feeling of accomplishment finishing gives me. Feet up; fingers laced behind my head, all that. I also write because I want to be like writers I admire; I want to emulate them, or at least parts of them, the same way I want to emulate my parents, or at least parts of them. And I call bullshit on any writer that claims otherwise.
There's nothing inherently wrong with wanting to be like someone. But for writers (and I assume artists in general) it may be tricky.
When I'm stressed about why I write and, since
The Paris Review isn't asking me, I wonder, "am I writing because I want to create stuff and have that satisfied feeling?" (I think this is probably good). Or, "am I writing because I envy what I think famous writers have, which is recognition and (possibly) money?" (I think this is probably bad).
There's always something to want. That's what about our characters drive our stories forward.
We should be honest about what and why we, as writers, want as well.
Paulo Campos wrote his first novel in high school but
didn't return to fiction until well into graduate school. He's
currently revising a novel and collection of short fiction. He was a
recipient of Glimmer Train's "Best Start" competition in November 2009. His first pieces of short fiction appeared in THEMA and The Incongruous Quarterly.
He lives in New York with his wife and two suspect cats.
Paulo Campos wrote his first novel in high school but didn't return to fiction until well into graduate school. He's currently revising a novel and collection of short fiction. He was a recipient of Glimmer Train's "Best Start" competition in November 2009. His first pieces of short fiction appeared in THEMA and The Incongruous Quarterly.